I remember a client telling me once, she really wanted a baby because she wanted to make her own family of people that looked like her and sometimes I catch myself thinking the same that if only I could have my own child, and make my own family everything would be better, but I don't think it's really like that and I also realise it's not fair for me to have a child to fill the holes in myself I still need to heal. The grown up part of me gets it's it, the child in me that longs for family just wants to me surrounded my family, family with the same quirks as me.
Most days though I find myself just bursting with love for all the mamas I’ve witnessed give birth and for all the babes I’ve watched swim their way earthside.
Mirrors have always and always be important for me but I’m learning to let other people hold up those mirrors and really learning to look at what’s there, and be okay standing without a biological mirror but still standing in, with and around so much love.
Thank you for loving me.