A note on Birthdays

Birthdays have always been difficult for me. I want everyone to know but at the same time I want nobody to know. I want to hide in the forest alone and I want to be around all the people. This year I’m allowing for both, time hidden between the trees and time with the ones I love.

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This year I’m acknowledging birthdays are hard, after-all I was abandoned at birth, but as I sit perched on a tree stump and look towards the sky, I am able to give thanks for my path, to hold myself with compassion and open up my heart to the great possibilities of life.

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I had cake with Elzanne, and then I came home and napped, and cried, and watched some idols auditions but when my crying became to heavy to hold, I took my tears to the sea, and she held my tears and her own. I walked until I could feel compassion again, I walked until I could breathe again. 

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I ended the day of on the balcony of Winchester Mansions watching the sun kiss the day goodbye.

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